Virginia Lawyer - February 2021

Wellness

Tracy Winn Banks, Margaret Hannapel Ogden 2021-01-22 06:31:16

Rebooting Your New Year’s Resolutions: We Are Here To Help

As we find ourselves a month into 2021, there’s a good chance many of us have already given up on our New Year’s resolutions. According to a 2015 study by U.S. News & World Report1, 80 percent of us who set goals on January 1 will have “failed” by mid-February, which can lead to feelings of resignation and shame in high-achievers like attorneys. Rather than berating ourselves for not meeting our aspirational objectives, we can use this time to reflect on why we fell short and adapt our goal-setting strategies. Let’s examine three common causes of “resolution failure,” what they can teach us about ourselves, and how we can overcome them to make 2021 a resounding success!

  1. “My goals seem too large, unrealistic, or unattainable.” We are high achievers, aren’t we? We are used to setting big goals, after all we graduated from law school through blood, sweat and tears, right? So, when we approach goal setting, sometimes we bring that same desire for achievement to the table. Rather than set huge goals that you are forced to abandon, evaluate whether a smaller, albeit significant, goal might be just as satisfying. One coach has recommended that the true way to gain success in goal setting is to set a ridiculously simple goal, stick to it for several weeks and then build on that success to accomplish more. For example, we recently read a recommendation that a better approach to annual goal setting might be to focus on a shorter timetable like 90 days. Interesting concept.

  2. “My motivation is flagging in the face of obstacles.” Attorneys tend to be busy people, with important obligations to work, family, and their larger communities. We often place our outside commitments over our internal goals, such as improving our sleep, movement, or nutrition. Rather than adding a new resolution to our already full plates, it may be more beneficial to integrate behaviors that contribute to our personal resolutions into our existing responsibilities.

Make a list of the obstacles that have kept you from realizing your resolutions and see what you can learn. Are they logistical, i.e. I don’t have time or space? Or are they more mental, i.e. I don’t know what success would look like? For example, if we resolved to eat healthier, but find our children and spouse hungry at the end of an exhausting day, we may be understandably tempted to turn to take-out. But if we involve our family in the act of meal planning, shopping, and cooking, we will better align our personal goals with our broader obligations.

  1. “I feel alone in the pursuit of this.” This is a tough one. We all can agree that we have to do the work ourselves but it is certainly a better journey if we can do it with someone else. There is something about supportive, human companionship that sweetens any endeavor. Think about your goals. Is there someone you could invite along in the journey? The best candidate, in our opinion, is someone who is sympathetic to your struggle and will provide meaningful encouragement along the way. To select the right person or persons, you must know yourself. Do you respond best to words of empathy or words of challenge, or maybe a little of both? When you have a partner in trials, you gain the advantage of companionship and working toward a common purpose.

As a parting thought, remember that each new day can be a new beginning and an opportunity to put on new habits and resolutions. Anyone who has achieved anything of significance had a Day One. For help in setting up new rhythms and choices, consider doing some reading. One great book we suggest was written by a fellow attorney, Justin Earley, The Common Rule: Habits of Purpose for An Age of Distraction. There are others. If you want some more suggestions or ideas for achieving your goals, please contact us. You might just gain a friend for your journey!

Tracy Winn Banks is a program attorney with The Virginia Law Foundation. In her capacity as a program attorney, Banks works with attorneys across the Commonwealth to develop CLE programming across the Estate Planning & Administration, Real Estate, Tax, Non-Profit Organizations, and Elder Law portfolio areas. She also devotes a significant part of her time in planning Wellness programming for the legal community. Banks also maintains the Library of CLEs on Wellness for legal professionals. She may be reached at tbanks@vacle.org.

Margaret Hannapel Ogden is the wellness coordinator in the Office of the Executive Secretary of the Supreme Court of Virginia. She is dedicated to improving mental health and addressing substance abuse in the legal profession through education, regulation, and outreach. Ogden began her legal career in the Roanoke City Commonwealth Attorney’s Office before entering private practice. A native of Washington, D.C., she graduated Phi Beta Kappa from the University of Maryland and earned her J.D. from Washington & Lee School of Law.

Published by Virginia State Bar. View All Articles.

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